FIRST INSTALLMENT OF A LIFE-ALTERING TEN PART SERIES
This comprehensive guide, compiled alpha-numerically by secret ballot yet in no specific order, would never have been possible without the tireless work of the Indignancy Committee of the Exalted Order of the Greater New Orleans Guerilla Quilting Bee Syndicate, spearheaded by philanthropist, founding member, and this week’s Lucky Interviewee Madame Vivienne d’ Francesca.
6.) THE SLASHENING: (2015, USA)
VdF: “I’d find it reprehensible to shrug off the safety horror of a modern day
slumber party “get together” stalk and slash rainbow variety passion piece of mayhem, friendship, and midpoint musical numbers. This carefully paced, off-the-wall stroke of successful comedic risk involves five old high school girlfriends reuniting inside a typical suburban home to catch up, console a soul-shattered Lucy after her recent breakup, and spin grisly ghost stories featuring supernatural mirror murderers and uncircumcised penises. Throw in a couple of party crashers and a small army of pizza delivery dudes and you’ve invested in an instant classic.
The Slashening is the kind of movie you can watch again and again for at least two months before you find that a jar of Gerber’s creamed corn proves more appetizing. This camp-schlock, which transitions to bloody horror only throughout the third act, was written and directed on a rock-bottom budget by Brandon Bassham and distributed, oddly enough, by the tasteless berserkers over at Troma, the same luminaries who blessed civilization with Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.
The Slashening, however, dodges the sleazy trappings of its studio’s reputation through hammering home its own sleazy self-awareness while delivering sequence after sequence of laugh out loud–yet grounded– humor from a professional and likeable young cast, notably BFF Final Girls Anna Callegari and Sam Reece.”
Also makes for a perfect rainy date night movie for that special someone who knows better than to guzzle orange juice directly out of the cartoon but does so anyway when you aren’t looking..